Saturday, May 9, 2009

Sadness and sleepy

Alrighty. I can't sleep alone. Weird right? I mean, first it wasn't a big deal to cuddle now I can't fucking sleep know Eric is not here. It's been about 30 hours since he left. I was awake for another 24 before that. 54 hours... more than 2 days!!! I am dead on my feet.

So today I wrote like 40 pages of absolute crap for the damned story I have been writing for freaking EVER! I also put up a new chapter for the FF I am writting. I don't know why I am writting Fan Fiction. I just decided I wanted to. It's Eric's fault. I blame him.

Also I feel icky because Tomorrow I have to go to Ohio. I am going to go to my Best Friends grave for the first time. It's like a 6 hour drive. I am going alone. I think that is the best way to do it. No need to shove my sorrow on others right? I am actually really nervous. See since the day he died Every thursday (We met on a thursday, we would always do something special) I have a single black rose delivered to his grave stone. He sent me one before he died with a letter, that I will never read. :' I know that the entire thing is just going to be one huge trigger, which will be SOO MUCH FUCKING FUN, but I have to. I have to see him. My friend Nate is going to be there for me. He left a week ago to see his parents. He and I paid for Mik's funeral, because if Mik's dad did he would never forgive me, or Nathan. lol. Well let's just say, good fucking thing nate and I can crank out some lyrics and music. So Nate stayed there and set up all the stuff and picked out what was what, and I picked his grave stone, and the words going on it... Fucking Nightmare. > 'Loving Father, Brother, Friend.' then underneith that is a quote from Romeo and Juliet, from Romeo. 'He jests at scars that never felt a wound' It means 'One that laughs at scars, because he has never felt the pain of the wounds that caused them' It seemed fitting because he thought his death would stop the pain... Wrong Motherfucker! and under that are his last words 'For You'

Peace Love Hearts and > me.. LIES - Sleep Now. Night.

No comments:

Post a Comment